الذهاب مع تدفق

FILM SCHOOL IS SO COOL 

the building is amazing

the location is amazing

the feel of the place is amazing

the attitude of the staff is amazing

it's buzzing, it's so busy there and there are so many people around,

doing important things i suppose

during my lunch break they were playing Psycho (with the sound off and subs on) 

i'm so excited to get totally immersed here for two years 

literally

i have never been so happy to be connected to and rooted in a place

and to know that i'll be here for two years

i want to make every moment count

i can't wait to be a filmmaker

i feel like the last month, with the last two projects i have done 

and now this start here

has really confirmed that this is what i want to do 

and i'm so glad that i found it now, at 18/19

and that i have direction at last

and it's crazy because i made the decision to come here

when my mind was so clouded and cluttered and foggy at the best of times

and yet?? i seem to have made this kind of real life-changing decision 

and it actually works for me

and i questioned it a lot of the time when i was moving out of that fog

but i guess i had just enough craziness to know that actually it could work

because i think sometimes, when your mind is too clear, 

it picks up all the reasons why things "wouldn't work"

and focuses on that

but really i guess one positive about going through a time of being so incredibly impulsive and obsessive that one idea consumes you and changes your life and its course entirely

is that actually 

when you start to walk out of it the other side, you remember the plans and delusions or whatever they are, that you made, and you start to see how broad your horizon mind and ambition actually is when it isn't hindered by the "practical" and the "realities" 

and then you know that in that state you actually saw a truth about yourself

that you wouldn't have stopped to notice if you were busying yourself living life properly

if that makes sense

okay anyway the moral of the story is

if you find yourself making life-changing decisions when you have the crazies 

...they just might be mad enough to work for you