الذهاب مع تدفق

progress is being made...
in terms of savings (mainly).
i've also just managed to purchase myself some new clothes
because i don't think
i can justify buying new clothes in a few months' time
when money will be shorter
and there will be more pressing things to buy,
like... well, idk, food i guess.
that kinda stuff.
"functioning adult" stuff.

know that i'm pouting as i write this.
angry pouting.

some people seem to be convinced that the world is coming to an end
again
and all i know is that it's irrelevant.
you can't stop the world ending.
you can only try and exist in the moment.
it's not deep
and it's not profound
but it's something to calm you down.
you're here. you'll never be "here" again
and nobody else is "here".
it's not helpful but it can be, at times.
i guess that's more of a reminder
to myself than anything else.

i've only got 23 days now, until the "end".
that's why i found that last paragraph strange to write.
to be entirely honest with you
i have been "counting the days"
since the first day - ask my dad,
who i informed on my first day at secondary school
of the number of days i had left -
and i'm not sad to leave.
i'm sad to grow up.
but i've no choice and so today, in this moment
(it's sunny so i'm feeling good)
i'm just trying to live in the moment.
sometimes i'm excited about the future,
sometimes i freak out
(okay i freak out more often than not).
but the freak outs don't last that long.
it's fine. everything will be fine.